Cold? I Don’t Know What That Is

One drawback of living here on the Gulf Coast is that we are pretty spoiled when it comes to the weather. It is typically warm, even in “winter.” If it is cold by you right now, I don’t recommend looking up the average temperatures here in Pensacola. It’ll just make you sad. I’ve never missed school because of snow (hurricane damage, yes. Snow, not so much). With the beach just a couple of minutes’ drive from my front door, though, I never felt like I was missing out. It’s kind of a no-brainer. Snow maybe a few times a year vs having the beach all year long? My parents picked the beach, and given a choice, I would, too.

It’s weird to think I grew up without snowboots or, well, a winter coat. Don’t get me wrong, I probably have worn a pair of gloves or two, and I do have a jacket—not a stay puft marshmallow man kind of jacket all those crazy northerners seem to need—but it keeps me warm on those blustery 45 degree evenings. And no, I don’t expect you to feel sorry for me as you have flashbacks of having to shovel yourself out of your driveway the past couple of winters.

My dad hates putting the heat on. I mean, hates it. We have this awesome Lasko space heater in the living room. It is a portable fireplace, which seems silly now that I just spent I don’t even know how long telling you it doesn’t get cold here, but the fireplace actually has the option to look like a pretty fireplace without the giving-off-heat bit. Which is why, in the middle of a heat wave in July, you can find me curled up in an armchair next to the fireplace reading a book. It’s like that yule log they show on TV at Christmastime, except I can still use the TV to watch something else.

Anyway, we had a bit of a nasty storm last week and it got…um…chilly, I guess is the right word. When it rains for a few days and there’s no sun, two things happen. One: it gets cooler, and two: everyone gets more grumpy and hostile. I wanted to turn on the heater just so I could sleep but my dad vetoed that idea. I ended up unzipping a sleeping bag and using that as an extra comforter because Dad we don’t have extra blankets. And also? Taking the Lasko into my room. Cause guess what, baby, it’s a portable heater. So I ported it directly into my room. Whoohoo. I slept as snug as a bug in a rug. My dad was pissed the next morning when he went into the living room to warm up and his heater was gone, though. I would have loved to have seen his face when he realized it was gone, but I was too busy dreaming of a cold beer, sand between my toes, and some great live Celtic music. Hahaha! Maybe next time he’ll think twice and let me turn on the heat!